Oh Boy! (AU)
by In lust with Cath
Summary: Well this is an alternate universe fic. I think anyone who's into weird will enjoy this whole-heartedly. I don't want to give it away though! Please R/R!!!


"This is for the best, Maxwell." Kerri insisted. Max's head hung low he had really wanted his marriage to work out. He still was very much in love with Kerri. She was a tall, voluptuous, ambitious, brunette and Max didn't want her to leave.  
  
The marriage lasted a little less than a year, and was completely secret to their families. Max had met Kerri in New York she was attending a Broadway musical. As it was letting out Max had stumbled into the crowd seeking refuge from the rain. He had run right into his future wife's arms.  
  
He sighed dreamily, recalling their first kiss. It had been at Kerri's apartment, she invited him back there to get dried off, before he caught cold. It was right in front of a blazing fire, the perfect romantic scenario and just as you would expect from a movie.  
  
It was smooth sailing for the two from that point on, they got married and moved to Washington D.C. where Max had lived for the past couple years. The marriage hit a snag when they had differentiating opinions. Max wanted a family but Kerri wanted a career. He wished there was a way for both to come from the marriage. He wanted a family, with no one but Kerri, but he also didn't want to interfere with her dreams and ambitions.  
  
So now he was sitting there with the divorce papers, and his soon to be ex- wife. His hand was frozen as he recalled all the things that had transpired out of the last two months. With a trembling hand he signed his name on the last paper. He felt like crying and he knew Kerri did too.  
  
He stood up and so did Kerri, they moved forward to embrace eachother. They came together in a final farewell kiss. It was the end of a happy year, yet the feeling in the kiss remained as the very first time. Max broke the kiss and looked his ex-wife in the face, "I love you."  
  
She nodded with tears in her eyes, "I know you do. And I you." He brushed the hair off her neck, "But please don't make this anymore difficult than it has to be." She pleaded. She let go of Max and walked out the door, he sighed deeply again.  
  
A tear escaped his eye, as the love of his life left him forever. He just hoped that wherever she went, wherever she was going, it was what she wanted. He arrived home and spent a little time brooding over his loss, when a knock came on the door.  
  
He opened the door to see Kerri's psychiatrist, she went to see him every other week to help relieve some stress. Max greeted the doctor warmly, "Ah, Dr. Himaldi, please do come in." He nodded gratefully and entered the apartment, "I trust you're here to see Kerri."  
  
"Yes, is she at home?" Max took the doctor's hat and coat and hung it up.  
  
"She may be at home. It depends on where her home is now…" Max's voice trailed off. "We were divorced early."  
  
"Oh, dear, I was afraid of that I advised her to wait just a week. But she wouldn't listen to me. Now… now…" The doctor rambled.  
  
"What doctor? What happens now?" Max pried.  
  
"Well, first Mr. Smart your wife's name is not Kerri." Max looked at him suspiciously, "She's been my patient and friend for several years. She is prone to bouts of amnesthia and each time she has one of these she has a whole new name and personality and outlook on life."  
  
"What?" Max could not believe what he was hearing, "Are you playing some cruel joke on me?"  
  
"I assure you Mr. Smart I am not jesting and it's crucial that you listen to what I have to say. One thing about her condition is you could compromise her state of being if you refer to her as a past identity." He paused, "I only wished I knew where to find her."  
  
"How can you come in to my home, right after the most terrifying day of my life and you tell me that my wife is not who she seems? That I don't actually know her? That the next time I come across her that she won't know me?"  
  
"In a nutshell. Her condition is caused by an overwhelming amount of stress. When things become too complicated or she is having trouble coping with her feelings or her situation. She'll become a new person." The doctor sighed again, "This rushed divorce is sure to bring on conflicting feelings."  
  
"Well, do you think it's likely that she'll know who I am the next time I see her?" Max asked growing tears coming into view in his brown eyes.  
  
"She may. It depends. She may still have her love for you, if her love was strong enough, she will still love you." He said. Max and the doctor talked for a little while more and then he had to leave.  
  
A few months later Max had completed his CONTROL spy school exams. He had just been on his first mission and had come across someone very special… He decided to converse with the Chief about it, "Chief, may I talk to you?"  
  
"Why, yes of course 86. What is it?" The Chief asked, concerned; he sat on the edge of his desk.  
  
"I don't think that Agent 99 and I should be partners."  
  
The Chief furrowed his brow and frowned, "Why do say that? I think the two of you are perfect together."  
  
"We were perfect for eachother, but I can't bare to lose her again." He sighed.  
  
"86, you aren't making any sense."  
  
"You remember I told you about my ex-wife Kerri? Well, 99 is Kerri." Max confessed.  
  
"Agent 99 has never been married, she just moved here from Idaho! You have her mixed up with someone else, obviously."  
  
"No, she stayed here, she's been living in D.C. for almost a year. She moved here from New York City." Max insisted, "She's my ex-wife. We got a divorce because I wanted a family and she wanted a career. She left and I didn't see her again until-"  
  
"Max, I think you need to see the CONTROL psychiatrist. You're all mixed up. Please sit down here on the couch," He led him over to the couch. "I'll call the doctor."  
  
"No, wait Chief. Really I'm not crazy. She is my ex-wife but she doesn't know it. In the aspect that she's Agent 99 she's never met me before today. She has a nervous thing that makes her switch who she is when she can't deal with her current situation." Max stood and began to pace the room, "Today… when she called me Maxwell… it brought back such fond memories. But I can't get attached to her again. Not when she could just change and wouldn't be the woman I knew and loved."  
  
"Max, I don't know why, but I believe you. You don't strike as the type to be crazy. But then again, Agent 99 doesn't strike me as the type to have a nervous condition." The Chief said, then thought deeply about something for a moment, "But I'm still going to have to put you and Agent 99 together as a working team. You're ideal for eachother."  
  
"And she has her career now… maybe she'll take me back!" Max brightened, "But… no! No, Chief I don't want to have to say good-bye again!"  
  
"I don't care. It's already been officialized." The Chief told him holding up the official document that stated, 99 and 86 were a working team. "I'm sorry."  
  
"Sir?" Hodgkins asked walking into the office. "You sent for Agent 99?"  
  
"Yes, Hodgkins send her in." The Chief looked to Max and shrugged. 99 came in. She was still the same beautiful passionate Kerri yet she was entirely different. She was a familiar stranger.  
  
"Hello Chief," She nodded at him looked to Max and gave him a warm welcoming smile, the same smile he first fell in love with, "86."  
  
He cleared his throat, "99." They shook hands. "Apparently we're going to be a permanent working team." The joy on her face was apparent and the ambition that bubbles within her was the same as Kerri. It seems Kerri got what she wanted after all.  
  
The Chief broke the silence, "Why don't I let you two get better aquatinted? You can even use my office, I'm taking off now anyway."  
  
"Thank you Chief." 99 flashed him a huge smile full of dignity and respect and immediately made the Chief realize (even though he'd known her for such a short time) why no one would want to have to say good-bye to this woman. Especially more than once.  
  
"Here we are." Max said laughing nervously and swinging his arms back and forth. "Together… again."  
  
"Yes." 99 smiled.  
  
Max looked at her deep blue eyes that had always entranced the man, held him there recalling his beloved Kerri.  
  
After they had first moved back to Washington D.C. Kerri got a job as a manicurist, a profession she'd been practicing in New York. She was a magnificent woman had a knack for basically everything. She always knew just how to brighten up Max's day. She had a wonderful imagination and a divine talent for writing.  
  
Once she showed Max a novel she had written, her very first one, she told him how proud of it she had been. Max read the novel and saw she had reason to be proud of it. It was a tantalizing murder mystery and despite his displeasure with reading he couldn't put the book down.  
  
They had spent their honeymoon at Niagara Falls immediately after eloping. They had decided for an unspoken reason not to tell their families. Kerri knew deep down inside of her that there was something not right about her that kept her from commitments, but she knew she had to be with Max even if it would only be a short while.  
  
Kerri had stopped talking to her family because they kept referring to her as Lois, which was not her name, thus giving her the impression that they did not love or care for her enough to remember who she was, they insisted she was Lois. She had run away after being called Lois because it confused and angered her to the point where she had to get away or it would have consumed her.  
  
Max didn't want to tell his family, because he knew that they did not love him. They called him not by Max, and not by any sort of proper name. He was always called a name that made swings at his competency or intelligence. As soon as he was 18 he packed up what little items he had collected over the years and left for Washington D.C..  
  
Finally the two had gotten away from all the pain of broken/inconsiderate families to settle down together to mend each other's wounds. The apartment they started out in was small but it suited them fine. It was out of the way; secluded if you will. And if there was one thing they both wanted it was privacy.  
  
One reason why the marriage didn't work out was their need for privacy. Neither one could open up completely to the other. Kerri's reason for not being completely open was because she herself couldn't be sure of the events of her life, but she couldn't tell Max a ridiculous story like that. Max didn't want to be hurt, he thought that if there were things she didn't know, she couldn't use them against him.  
  
"Maxwell?" 99 asked gently; putting a hand on his arm.  
  
"Yes Kerri?"  
  
"No, I'm 99." She smiled at him.  
  
Max snapped back to reality, "Yes of course you are. Just a slip of the tongue I guess."  
  
"If you don't mind me asking, what were you thinking of just now? Before you regained your sense of reality?"  
  
"I was thinking of a wonderful woman I knew once." He looked deeply into her eyes again, "She looked just like you." He took her hand.  
  
"I'm very flattered." She said, not sure what to make of him taking her hands.  
  
He kissed one of them, remembering how soft Kerri's skin always felt. "Mmm," he sighed, "You have such soft skin," He rubbed it up against his cheek.  
  
99 pulled her hand out of his, "Look, would you uh, like to grab something to eat, or just some coffee perhaps?" She asked nervously. Try as she might she couldn't help being nervous of him, and his obvious advances.  
  
"Your place?" He asked stepping closer.  
  
She laughed nervously, "W-why not?"  
  
Once they got there 99 told Max to 'Make himself at home' and she went into the kitchen to make the coffee. She came out with two mugs full of steaming coffee. 99 had all the qualities of Kerri and supplemented what she had lacked.  
  
She saw Max staring wistfully at everything in the apartment. She still was a bit leery of Max. She cleared her throat. "Oh, I was just looking at…" He paused, "Everything."  
  
"Come sit with me." 99 said cheerfully offering a mug to him. She expected him to sit across from her but instead pulled the chair around and sidled right up next to her. She looked at him and smiled nervously.  
  
"You have a very nice apartment. Did you decorate it yourself?" He asked smiling at her.  
  
"Uh… yes I did." She watched him making circles around the cup with his finger, "You'd, uh, better drink your coffee before it gets cold."  
  
"That's ok, I like ice coffee." He chuckled to himself. If only SHE were so comfortable with HIM. "You remind me a lot of her you know?"  
  
"Of who?"  
  
"The wonderful woman I told you I was thinking about earlier. She was beautiful, smart, charming, beautiful…"  
  
99, blushed furiously. "That's awfully sweet of you to say."  
  
"I meant every word." 99 looked up and caught his stare they gazed into eachother's eyes. Max could see Kerri's flaming passion and sultry look. 99 saw past the beady eyes and into his soul, in a manner of speaking, he was obviously a romantic and a sentimentalist.  
  
"Would you like to sit on the couch?" 99 offered feeling just a little bit awkward, "We could light a fire."  
  
Max gulped as 99 got up, that was just the way it happened the first time, save for the musical and wet clothes. It felt good to get out of them, he thought. He realized he probably wouldn't get all the way with 99 as he did with Kerri. Besides this time there wasn't any wet clothes to take off and 99 seemed so much more modest.  
  
"Good idea." Max chimed, "I'll light the fire," He went to lean down to get the materials needed for fire lighting.  
  
"That's ok, I've got it." 99 insisted, also bending down to pick it up and banging heads with him. He had a hard head, was he wearing a hard hat, under his skin or something? "Ow." 99 sat down surprised and rubbing her head.  
  
"Gee, 99 I'm sorry." Max apologized, "Are you ok?" He asked saddling right up to her.  
  
"Uh, yes, I'm fine." She insisted, "Just a little surprised." She shook her head clear.  
  
Max got the fire going then sat down on the couch with Kerri, sorry… 99. "Isn't this romantic?" He asked her.  
  
She looked at him nervously as he slid his arms around her. "Yes."  
  
"You're very tense. You should relax." He told her. She looked away, beginning to cry. "99? You're crying? What's the matter?"  
  
"You're getting awfully close, awfully fast." She explained, "Max, you're the first man I've had in my apartment, save for the landlord. Come to think of it, I've never even had a boy in my room, I… well, I… it's just… Oh Max!"  
  
She inadvertently buried her head on his shoulder, he kissed her head, enjoying the fact that she so easily slid into his embrace. She got closer still buried and lost in thought. She looked up and met Max's gaze. He leaned down and kissed her and she willingly obliged.  
  
Her mother once told her, when you meet the right man you'll know it. 99 couldn't tell if it was love or not, but there was something there.  
  
The next morning 99 woke up perched precariously on the couch. She stretched and received a rude awakening when she nearly fell off the couch. She looked about and did not see Max. Somehow she had figured he'd not be there when she woke up. She knew it was not a dream for two reasons, one, she wasn't clothed… in anything, and there was an undershirt on the floor that most certainly wasn't hers.  
  
She looked at the clock, then did a double take, "Ten o' clock!? I'm an hour late for work!"  
  
She jumped up and made a mad dash for the bedroom closet. She threw things out on all sides trying to find the clothes she wanted, she slipped into them and put all the discarded/rejected clothing back on hanger or folded them and laid then nicely in the drawer.  
  
She was still brushing her hair as she walked into the Chief's office, "99, do you know what time it is?"  
  
She burst into tears and hugged her boss, "Please don't fire me! I'm sorry, it'll never happen again!"  
  
"I just wanted to know the time. I have no reason to want to fire you, you punched in hours ago." 99 looked knowingly at Max who smiled at her from the corner of the room. She was amazed that she was even able to make eye contact.  
  
"It's Ten-thirty, sir." She looked down at her watch again, "Look, I didn't get to eat anything. Max would you care to join me down in the cafeteria?"  
  
"I'd love to." Max said, "I'll be right there." He blew her a kiss. She smiled nervously, because of the Chief, and blushed, then blew him one too. Then she left.  
  
"What's this?" The Chief asked.  
  
"I have my Kerri back."  
  
"You have to remember that's she's not Kerri, Max, that's 99. A totally different woman." Max had taken out his wallet, and handed the Chief a picture.  
  
"We had this picture taken shortly before our divorce," The Chief looked down in disbelief at the picture.  
  
"Kerri?" Max nodded. "Oh my God! How is this possible? I mean I had my doubts, but this is 99. You're putting me on."  
  
"No, Chief I swear to you. That is Kerrigan Lynn Smart." Max took back the picture and put it in his wallet.  
  
"Just take it slow with 99."  
  
"Too late." Max said discretely.  
  
"You kissed her?"  
  
"More."  
  
"Frenched."  
  
"More."  
  
"You slept with her?!" Max nodded, "Look, I know I told you to get to know get better acquainted, but this is ridiculous."  
  
"Chief I know what I'm doing. I know my own wife." He took out a blue velvet box, "Soon-to-be-wife I should say."  
  
"Max, take the rest of this slow, I find it a huge shock that modest little quiet 99, would even sleep with you."  
  
He took a small blue velvet box out of his pocket, "I'm going to get my wife back." He shoved it back into his pocket. The Chief watched Max run down the hall, not knowing what to think.  
  
In the Cafeteria Max and 99 were talking. "99, last night was the most wonderful night of my life."  
  
She blushed, "Mine too."  
  
"It was there I felt it,"  
  
"What was?"  
  
"Love."  
  
"I felt it too."  
  
"I love you. That's not an emotion I toss around, I have the utmost sincerity, and I always will."  
  
"I believe you."  
  
He pulled the ring out of his pocket and opened it to reveal a large diamond ring, "Will you marry me?"  
  
"…I… Yes!" 99 agreed crying and they embraced. She rested her head against his neck and sobbed. Max sighed dreamily smelling her lavender shampoo. The turned to face eachother again, and kissed passionately.  
  
Now, I really don't see where exactly I can take this… I should've used my own names for this ne, because despite the names this is nothing like Get Smart, and if you were hoping for a little more to do with the show… I'm sorry, I've got others that are about the show. ( 


End file.
